Wait for me, even if you hate me
by Just hand me a pen
Summary: Somewhat based on the promo pics for Cops and Robbers, more inside. I'm terrible at rating, so T for safety, but there's really only kissing.


**So, this is loosely based on the promo pic of them drinking wine. I say loosely because in the pic I'm pretty sure that they're at Rick's apt. Oh well. Umm... that's all I've got.**

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><p>"Just take the wine, Kate," Castle said. He wasn't begging, it was just more of a request. "We both need it."<p>

Kate looked up into his eyes. She was standing a mere foot away. She slowly moved her face forward, inching towards his at an infinitesimal rate. Her heart ached, as she knew she had to stop. She couldn't kiss him. She couldn't do that to him. He had to know the truth first, even if it ruined his feelings towards her.

Kate reached for her wine, and went to sit on her couch. Rick followed, oblivious to her internal struggle.

Silence. The moments turned into minutes and neither of them had said anything.

"I thought you were going to die." Kate delivered the sentence with a voice devoid of tone. The words caught in her throat as she said them because it was the first time she had admitted the idea to herself.

"Oh, Kate-," Castle started.

"No!" Kate quickly cut him off.

A look of confusion covered Castle's face.

"No," Kate continued. "You can't do this. Not now."

To say Castle looked hurt would be an understatement. His face fell harder than he realized and the look in Kate's eyes reflected how he felt. Why was she sorry when she was the one that stopped him?

Kate's face contorted, and Castle started getting suspicious as to what was going on. She needed to say something. About the bank? About the robbers, the case?

Kate sighed as tears suddenly burst out of her eyes and rolled down her face. She reached up to wipe them away but Castle beat her to it. She reached up and pulled his hand away.

"Why are you crying, Kate?" Rick asked. He wanted to make it stop. Kate was such a strong person, so when she cried, it was because she was _very_ hurt.

Kate remained silent for over a minute, Castle waiting for her. Like he'd always done, like he always would. She finally took a deep breath and started to speak.

"I have to tell you something, but I'm avoiding it because it physically pains me to say it." Kate scoffed, as if disgusted with herself. "It's big, Rick, and it's going to ruin everything we…" she paused. "Everything we have. Everything I _want_ us to have." She finished her sentence as if it were a question. She let out a sob. " I remember, Rick. I remember everything. About the shooting, about what… what you said. And I," her voice broke. "I love you too." She continued crying, refusing to be comforted by Castle.

Castle, who had sat there all through Kate's speech, dumbfounded, sat there in discomfort. "What the hell, Kate?" He asked, infuriated. "You knew and you _didn't _tell me? How could you do that?" He was already calming down, yelling just one sentence was enough for him, especially at the woman he loved.

That didn't mean he wasn't mad, though. He was completely livid. He quickly rose to standing. "Why did you do it?" He asked Kate.

She wasn't expecting to be addressed, but she quickly said, "For myself. I couldn't handle all the chaos in my life, then. But that doesn't mean I don't love you, because I do. I just… I needed time. God, that sounds so cliché. But honestly, I couldn't deal with it, because it scared the hell out of me. I couldn't be in a relationship then, because I could only give half of myself. I could only be half there. And, you know what? That would be okay with some of the guys I've dated. Not with you. I can't jump into anything with you if I can't be all there. I couldn't do that to myself because of what that would do to you. Take out of that whatever you want. Hell, hate me if you want to! Just, whatever the consequence, get it over with, because what we'll have once we finally cross that line will be like anything you've ever imagined. I told you a long time ago that I was a "one and done" kind of girl, and I _know_ that you're my one. We can take as long as we want to get there, but you're mine. I've known that for a while, and that's what scared me. So please, hate me for now, but please not forever. I'm going to spend whatever time you take trying to make up for it."

Kate had stopped crying, and now she stood there in front of Rick, who's face was emotionless. He turned walked out the door, and slammed it in her face.

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Kate sat on her sofa staring at a blank point on the wall. She'd been sitting there for an hour. Reviewing, analyzing. She had apologized honestly, where had gone so wrong? Not that Castle hadn't had every right to hate her. What she had done was almost unforgivable. _Almost. _She knew he would come around; he loved her too much to leave her forever. The thought made Kate hate herself. _I'm such a manipulative bit_-

Her inner monologue was interrupted by a knock on her door. _Go away_, she thought. Instead, she stood and went to open it.

It was Rick Castle.

They stood in silence for three beats. Each beat involved them staring deeper into each others eyes. After the third beat Rick lunged forwards grasping Kate's mouth in a sizzling kiss. A kiss that expressed all of Kate's regrets.

"I understand why you did it," Rick said, breaking off the kiss. "I know why you did it, but it might take me a while to completely forgive you. You'll wait for me, won't you?"

"That's supposed to be my line, Rick. But yes, I will. I want you to know how sorry I really am. I can't articulate how-" Kate was cut off by Rick.

"Do you really think that?" he asked, "Do you really think that I'm your one and done?"

Kate bit her lip, scared to answer the question even though she was the one that had said it in the first place. "I really do," she said, smiling.

"Then I'll wait. Always."

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><p><strong>Oh yeah, so drop a review. Please. And... I also didn't edit this at all, cuz I literarely JUST wrote it. I also hate editing, but...<br>Thanks for reading! **


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